The Perils of Agent Scully

• The author of this charming little piece of fiction is obsessed with three things: red hair, breast milk, and rape. He (or she) likes them lots and lots and lots. And felt the need to tell the world all about it by writing The Perils of Agent Scully.

  As you might have guessed from the title, it's an X - Files fic. We open with Scully receiving a voicemail from Mulder, telling her to go and check out a company that's been producing genetically modified plants for illicit government purposes. So far, so good. I'm almost prepared to overlook the very detailed description in the first paragraph of Scully's "38D breasts". Perhaps the author is confusing Gillian Anderson with Pamela Anderson? However, any delusions that an actual plot might be involved are shattered only a few lines later:

  A few of the phallic shaped vines began bashing themselves against Dana's writhing body, against her heaving breasts, and her face. One of the vines began to force itself into her mouth, so she turned her head away. After the vine tried in vain to insert itself into her mouth, a couple of other, smaller vines wrapped themselves around her forehead and over her chin holding her head firmly in place, as well as forcing her mouth open. As the red vine now had easy access to Scully's throat, it didn't hesitate to thrust in as deeply as it could, and began to slowly push in and out. Even as her throat was being violated, she noticed that the vine tasted very much like a humans penis.

  (...)

  Once her cunt was fully dilated, the eye stalk began to force its way into her. Even though she was by now well lubricated the stalk had to pound it's way up her tight cunt, each thrust being followed by a slight retraction so that it would have a slightly looser cunt to push into.

  What talented plants! They can even, as we're soon informed, "spray spunk" everywhere! Next, Mulder comes running out of the forest, accompanied by some soldiers. He believes them when they tell him she must have been raped by an escaped criminal (plenty of those about, you know) and happily leaves her alone with them while he goes to get some medical help for her. Which was not a wise decision, because they drag her to some wasteland and rape her again. There are frequent references to the fact that her breasts are now leaking milk. Is she pregnant? No, dear reader, the worst is yet to come.

  Luckily, Mulder has found just the right medical expert: the redheaded, surprisingly well - endowed Doctor Kidman. And she's Australian, too. Gee, why does that ring a bell? By the way, this is what passes for a routine checkup with the good doctor:

  "Good morning, Dana. You have been chosen by our alien friends for a range of experiments. You've already experienced the first, which was a genetically engineered milking unit." Kidman then pushed a large robot, which had 2 arms, and various types and sizes of dildo's which could be attached on the ends of the arms, between Dana's legs. "This next experiment is more technological." So saying, Doctor Kidman switched on the robot. The two arms chose 2 dildo's and snaked out to Dana's cunt and ass. With no pause, the robot pushed in the 2 dildo's alternating the stroke's. Dana's body arched to the new intrusion into her body. "The alien's have noted that the milking proceeds much quicker if the bovine, that's you, is stimulated." Switching on the milking machine, the pulsator and vacuum soon started their work, drawing milk from Dana's tightly stretched mammeries. "You see, you're udders are already producing milk. But what's pleasure without pain..." she said as she flipped the switch to the electric shock unit. At random, either breast, or her clit would have an electric shock sent to it. After a few seconds, Dana's body shook as a bolt of electricity passed through her clit. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as the machines went about their work. After 10 minutes, no more milk was flowing, so the Doctor switched off the machines, and unfastened and removed her clit and tit clamps.

  "As you've been such a good milker, I've got a present for you."

  (...)

  "I wish I was receiving this sort of treatment, but you were chosen as the most suitable bovine. Ah well.." she said as she walked from the room, her buttocks moving seductively with each step, "Release the animal..." The guards opened the front of the crate, and a gorilla knuckled it's way out.

  And that is where we shall fade to black. Of course you can read the whole thing in detail, but I can't think for the life of me why you would want to.

  Unsurprisingly, Scully needs a visit to the bathroom after that. Surprise surprise! The plants pop up out of the toilet and rape her again! Little Shop of Horrors this is not. Enter Doctor Kidman, dressed as usual in a most professional manner.

  Kidman had changed from the white coat and tight lycra dress she was wearing the day before to a black leather corset which accentuated the size of her bust while her pierced nipples were forced through holes in the tips of the cups. She wore a pair of leather crotchless panties which had rows of hooks sown into the edge of the hole. These were strategically placed to keep her cunt wide open by attaching the rings that pierced her lips to them. The ensemble was finished by a pair of thigh length, leather high heel boots. 2 guards followed her in, and immediately grabbed Dana and as one guard held her, the other began to dress her.

  Assisted by some more soldiers and another health care worker called "Nurse Parton", Kidman proceeds to dress Scully as Miss Whiplash and give her free nipple piercings with the aid of a hammer and nails. There's more rape and dildo stuff, 'cause the author knows we love it, before Scully is given some special alien healing potion that reduces her orifices to the size of a gnat's anus. And THEN they get widened again! Time for some tittyfucking and a bit more bestiality, just for good measure. At this point my eyes began to glaze over a bit, so let us move on. That's when they drive her out to a remote town full of Texas Chainsaw Massacre - style inbreds, where she is raped by all the locals and their dog. Literally.

  Every time one of the workers began to cum, he'd go over to the bucket and shoot his load into it, slowly filling the bucket. Once the fat farmer and his dog had pulled out of Dana, the farm workers got their chance to rape her. "Stand up, heifer", said one of the workers, his hand continually stroking his cum soaked prick. Dana tottered on her 6 inch high heels as she stood up, and spunk dribbled from her inflamed cunt lips, down her stockinged legs. "No way ahm sticking ma dick into dog spunk, you're gonna get yore ass fucked, heifer!" Making Scully lean forward, he tried to push his massive member into her anus. Gripping her thighs with his hands, he tried with all his might to force his swollen penis head into Dana's tight hole. "Well I'll be! It's tighter than a gnats ass. Jim-Bob go and get the grease gun from the truck, this hole need's a bit o' greasing." Jim Bob pointed the grease gun at Dana's tight, puckered anus, and pressed the trigger.

  Thrifty bunch, ain't they? She's so lucky, she gets to drink the contents of the bucket! More dildo fun and more milking, after which her breasts are fried on a grill for no apparent reason, then she gets to watch some other "bovines" undergoing their treatment. What do they all have in common, apart from the massive mammaries? RED HAIR! Apparently the aliens insist on the milkies being redheads, and who are we to argue?

  Here comes the fun bit. Scully is fitted with a fully functioning supersize alien penis. She gets to rape a nun, and then a graduate of the milking project, who is brought back to the lab for more of the same. It's Kay Howard, the hard - as - nails female detective from the TV show Homicide: Life on the Street.

  Dana was now using her tits to masturbate her penis, rubbing the gland between her pendulous boobs. As each thrust went into Kay, Scully mimicked the thrust with her tits, imagining that she was the one fucking Kay's tight ass. The penis soon shot it's load as Dana orgasmed, sending cum spraying into her open mouth, and into her red hair, spunk dribbling down her chin and onto her tits. Kay's torment wasn't over yet as another of the rapists started fucking her now wide open ass hole, which slurped as he thrust his tool into her bowels. The first rapist picked up the discarded shit covered baton and stood at the side of Kay and watched as her tit's swung with the rhythm of the fucking. Lifting the baton above his head, he brought it down onto one of her pendulous orbs, forcing the mound of flesh against the bars of the cell. Kay grunted, and began to weep anew, as the pain from the anal fucking mixed with the continuing battering of her tits. After a few minutes of bruising, milk started to spray from her nipple when the flesh was smashed into the cell bars. Soon milk was dribbling from the end of the bruised udder even though it wasn't being hit. Seeing what was going on, one of the other men started hitting her other tit until that to was spraying milk freely. Putting buckets under each breast, they began to squeeze and twist each of Kay's breasts, forcing milk from her nipples and into the buckets.

  This is making me feel a bit sick now. Let's skip as much as we can. Scully, Kay, the nun and a Polish woman are sent to kidnap and rape yet ANOTHER redhead. After that's done, complete with description after description of breast milk, they are given an exciting assignment! Their mission, should they choose to accept it, is to head to jolly old England and go to Coronation Street! Now, for any non - UK readers, Coronation Street is a soap opera about the lives and loves of some working - class people living in Manchester. They like to drink at a pub called the Rover's Return, which has - you guessed it - a red haired landlady. Liz McDonald is about a hundred years old and played by Beverley Callard, who looks like this. Clearly, she has seen better days, but the author would beg to differ.

  I don't want to go into too much detail about what happens next. They waltz into her bar, force feed her with sperm and dog shit, and give her the milking treatment.

  But then all hell breaks loose! The aliens pitch up! Yes, the ones in charge of this entire nightmare!

  ...they saw 6 huge frog-like creatures. They wore no clothing, and their huge penises hung between their bent legs. In their arms they carried what looked like rifles, and on their belts they carried ropes, chains, manacles and a huge knife. The two metallic objects turned out to be large robots that hovered above the ground, and the dog-like creatures turned out to be crabs.

  (...)

  A prodigious amount of breast meat. The feast will go down a storm with so many fresh large tits to eat." It said licking its grotesque lips, and laughed. "My God" exclaimed Dana, "They're going to cut our tits off to eat!"

  (...)

  As Dana and Kay were winched up and branded Grade A tit flesh, Sister Asumpta was being processed. As she was stripped of her habit, the aliens had noticed the size of her pendulous tits. When the robot said "Grade A++" the group of aliens cheered. Now that they were all hanging from the stand, they were all teleported to the ship hovering above them, cloaked from earth radar.

  By now, the breasts of the captive women were turning blue as all their weight was being hung from the huge globes of flesh. They were teleported directly to the main slaughter room where they were cut down and left to lie on the floor. "We've got a feast on tonight, and were one roast short."

  Yeah, I forgot to mention that by now the gang have run into a party of Catholic schoolgirls, whose Mother Superior took them to Kidman's facility after they started to grow unnaturally sized breasts. Do we care? No time to wonder, because now everyone gets skewered and put on to cook. Scully and Kay are raped in every possible hole, force fed with a disgusting mixture of sperm and liquidized titty, and then it's their turn to become lunch. But soft! Could there be hope after all?

  Dana was taken to the bar area, and both of her breasts were lowered into an oven. Dana screamed as the heat blistered her skin, and began to cook the flesh inside. The lid slid closed, to stop the rest of her body burning. "I think 20 minutes should be enough!", the cook said, as he took the opportunity to shaft her from behind into her ass. With each thrust, Dana's engorged cunt lips slapped together, as she rocked on her heels. Just as the cook began to spunk over her buttocks and back, pooling at the small of her back, the entire ship was rocked by an explosion.

  All around the room, large breasted women dressed in skin tight rubber uniforms and high heels were appearing, fighting with the aliens. "My God, we're being rescued..."

  It's only when you get to the end of this piece of absolute mind rape that you think, what was the fucking point?

  Dancing Baby Alienn by Erin M. Blair

  In this Ally McBeal inspired vignette Mulder hallucinates a dancing alien fetus, complete with music, and enlists Scully's help to discover what the whole thing means. Yep, it's all a little strange, but nowhere near as bizarre as the next whiplash inducing plot point that comes barrelling out of left field.

  "I had a feeling that you'll help me." Mulder paused, as he came to a realization that could change their lives. "Scully?"

  "Yes?"

  "Maybe the dancing alien wants us to be together?"

  "As in a couple?" Scully asked, as she saw him nod. "Oh, I don't know."

  "It wants us to face the fact that we're in love. We've been hiding it for too long. Scully, I love you. Do you love me?"

  "Yes. I'd been in love with you for years. I just wasn't sure if you knew."

  Luckily for our lovestruck pair, the all-seeing, all-knowing dancing alien fetus knew it all along.

  Chat Rooms by Sara Elise

  By day Mulder, Scully, and Skinner are professional, adult FBI agents, but by night they strip off their boring facades, log onto a chatroom, and metamorphose into a bunch of annoying pre-teens. Or so this author would have you believe.

  Trustno1- *lol* Sculliiiieeee!

  DKscully- What??

  Trustno1- I only trust you!

  DKScully-*lol*You're funny Mulder!

  Trustno1- Y R U laughing??

  DKScully- You don't trust me!!

  Trustno1- @--}-- (rose for Scully)

  DKScully- Thx

  If the gross mischaracterizations aren't enough to turn your stomach, the idea of Skinner trying to talk his agents into a romance should do the trick.

  Shopping for Scully by Angel

  Scully is sick so Mulder volunteers to do her shopping for her. This is the anemic plot that the author uses to introduce a sad and tiresome litany of feminine hygiene product jokes. We also get to sit through Mulder's nauseating musings on menstruation.

  Ok one thing left. Feminine napkins as they are called. I don’t find the word napkin relating to this process at all appealing. Frankly I am trouble by the whole menstrual cycle. Yes is natural and healthy and so on. But still! I find the idea of letting blood flow from ones body for a few days a month and not being worried about it very… odd. And I have heard Scully complain about cramps. Not in so many words but seven years of working with her has led to great insight on her body. I know when she has PMS and I don’t like it. I can even tell when she has cramps. She shifts around like crazy, walking all over the place, looks a little pale sometimes. Every four hours on the dot slugging back some more Advil. I don’t think, wait I KNOW I would not be able to survive such a thing. I’m a coward I know. But having blood drip out of my body with no control over the matter and pains that make Scully, of all people, cringe. No thank you.

  Sounds like someone's got issues. I'm just not sure if it's Mulder, or the author.

  Life is Good by Samantha Leigh

  A tiny, pointless story barely a page long that nonetheless manages to get thoroughly bogged down in muddy prose.

  I grin at her, she’s so cute when she’s nauseous. It’s times like these when I can momentarily forget that I’m the key figure in an ongoing govermental conspiracy that reaches into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet; that if I go one centimeter in the wrong direction I could have the hounds of hell after me and Scully; all the hardships and angst I have suffered and caused and just focus on my one in five billion.

  How touching.

  Special Agent Dana Scully - Alien Mind Control Slut by Izumino [NC17]

  I waded through this entire story and never did discover why or how Scully was being mind controlled, why Skinner was an alien, or what the point of the whole sorry episode was. What I did learn was more synonyms for "penis", "sperm", and "anus" than I could ever use in a lifetime. I was also reassured to discover that, even in the heat of coitus, Scully is still a doctor. And for some strange reason the author won't let us forget it.

  There was so much of it! Gallons of it, strings of it, giant gooey ropes of it, all striped across her upturned face and mouth. In the back of her scientifically-trained mind, she licked and lapped and cooed, she remembered the average male ejaculate was on the average of 10 cc's of seminal fluid. But Assistant Director Skinner was obviously no average man!

  She had done it! She had taken every inch! (As a scientist, Dana had had no doubt she would be able to fit her supervisor's cock up her ass, having seen far larger thing in her days had an intern. But for a moment there--about the ninth inch, when Dana thought she could feel Skinner's cockhead coming through her esophagus--she had had her doubts).

  She was so full! It felt so good! Thought as a Medical Doctor she knew anal orgasms had only described in journals in purely anecdotal terms, with no scientific proof to back them up, she knew now that it was not only possible, but that multiple anal orgasms were easily proven. If anyone had the slightest doubt, she wished they could see her now, her face flush with cum after cum, her nipples hard enough to cut glass, her hairless pussy sloshing with cunt-cream pooling on the desk.

  But, hey! At least the title is catchy.